Introducing – The Cats

One of my resolutions was to blog more, however I’ve been struggling for topics. So i thought, write about what I know.  And i know my cats.


I have 3 cats. They are very important to me. I thought it would be nice to introduce them to everyone so that we can all share in their awesomeness. Originally I had always been a dog person, and only chose a cat because living on my own at the time as well as working full-time I didn’t feel I would be able to look after the dog as much as I should. I think the willingness to get a pet was a tactile admission of loneliness as well, as I led a very insular and solitary lifestyle at that point.

Adebisi – often abbreviated to ‘Besi’. Named after a character in the TV show OZ, because much like the character, my initial impression of him was ‘man he’s big, black and mental’ I got him in May 2007, and he is approx. 7 years old.

So, deciding I couldn’t look after a dog, I chose a cat – and a rescue cat because it’s the right thing to do isn’t it? I’m not an eight year old girl so it didn’t matter what sort I got.  The RSPCA when I rang them said they had a surplus of black cats, so a black cat is what I went for. I went to the outskirts of Horwich, Bolton to pick this cat up, and the ‘fosterer’ was cat mad – cat rug on the floor, cat cushions on the couch, even cat tapestry, a catestry if you will, on the wall. Very much a cat-lady. Though with our cat calendars, cat-based cards, cat draft excluder, I have no doubt people think that about us now! I got him home and of the 3 he was the most hesitant initially, though after a week or so he was very much at home.  For a rescue cat he was in very good physical health – almost perfect in fact. It was only later that I found out he had got a giant bald patch under his arm from where he had been entangled in something.

He is as my friend Emma calls him a ‘Daddy’s boy’. Only I can pick him up, and often only I can stroke him. The feeling is mutual. When I suffered a burglary in 2007, the RSPCA rang my work and wouldn’t leave a message (as my phone was stolen). I was convinced they were going to take him away from me for some reason and was devastated. The relief when I found out it was just another money grab by the RSPCA. For a cat, he is very well-behaved, though that maybe because the other 2 cats are quicker of the mark when it comes to naughtiness. He is good-natured, and is great fun when nipped up! He is by far the best looking cat I have ever had, but also the fattest.

He is probably the most cowardly cat ever encountered. He will leg it at any form of noise, from a pan lid being dropped to the Hoover being turned on. He is also afraid of plastic bags which leads me to believe that this is what caused his arm injury. He has a tendency to eat his food to quickly and then throw it up. He has also on occasion when Laura has been cleaning the bathroom, turned the opposite way in the litter tray and pissed onto the floor where she is mopping. But I think that was done by accident…

He was very playful in the first year, but has since chilled out. This was good as he was all claws and this used to leave me with arms like Richie from the Manics! He also used to jump out of the bedroom window to go on a night-time prowl as they don’t go out after dark. When he is hungry, he will often sit on my chest and perform ‘paw-paw-claw’ on my face! He will not eat large chunks of ‘proper meat’ instead what for me to cut it or tear it into manageable chunks and feed it to him. He is without doubt my favourite, and we both know it.

Esme (short for Esmeralda) was gotten in January 2009 and was again a rescue cat. She is at least 11. I asked for a black girl this time, as I thought ‘2 boys will be fighting all the time, girl cats are nice and friendly’. Little did I know. For all the luck I had with Besi being a beautiful cat, Esme was not either in temper or physically. She was at least 8, but nearer 10. She had been badly mistreated in her past having only two of her ‘main’ teeth, the rest being knocked out. She also had a bad skin condition that resulted in big bald spots appearing on her face, which she would scratch until they bled, then getting infected. My first impression of her was that she was so friendly – purring, trying to get a stroke through the cage front of the cat box in the car journey home. I think that it would be nice to describe her as ‘suitable for a household with no other pets’ as she does not play nice with others – even by a cat standards. The need to strike out at the others is so apparent that it is almost schizophrenic, she can be purring and in the same movement hiss and strike out before returning to her state of happiness.

She is very affectionate. When she wants attention, she lets us know. Her party-trick is ‘bear cat’ where she will stand up on her hind legs to try to grab your hand. She is very territorial, and has chased of very large cats from the backyard. Her favourite hobby is winding up the little terrier next door, until its owner (who gives her chicken) gets annoyed with the barking and drags it in! Also in the summer months she will spend all day outdoors in the sun, occasionally popping back in to give me a status update! She doesn’t play that often preferring strokes and tickles behind the ears.

Although she is very friendly, she has occasionally struck out at me. Within the first two months of having her, she slashed me across my face so badly (I made the mistake of trying to move her when asleep) that people thought I had broken my nose. Also on Laura’s 1st visit to the house proper (we totally courted), Esme was lay on the back of the couch, as is a cat’s want. Laura went to sit down on the left side of the couch (nearest the door, just in case) when Esme looked at her with so much evil and venom that we swapped places and I have been sat/slept on the left ever since. She was friendly with Laura after that.

Being an older cat, she does have some health problems. She suffers from fur balls very badly. She also goes through bouts of incontinence. In August 2009, on her regular check-up at the vets, she was diagnosed with stomach cancer. In January 2011 she’s still going on strong, unlike that idiot vet.

I think in a throwback to her abandoned days, she very rarely turns food away and is always in the kitchen when food is being prepared or dropped. In the past she has:

  • Stolen Bacon out of the pan
  • Baked Beans from somewhere
  • ½ an uncooked sausage that we thought was a thumb
  • Knocked a roast chicken that was covered of the side onto the floor then eaten it
  • Taken a piece of chicken out of curry that was being made
  • Eaten: broccoli, sweet corn; raw potato; popcorn; crisp with her favourite being monster munch.

Oddly enough she doesn’t like Bob Martin cat treats.

She is a very friendly cat to  both of us, who is affectionate and who I’m glad we’ve been able to make her life a little bit better than it was prior. Though I wish she wasn’t so violent towards the other cats. And stop shitting on the floor.


Franklin was born in late August 2009 and we took him in October 2009. I was actually at the birth. But because i’m good in a crisis rather than a wierd, weird situation. He is not a rescue cat per-se but his mother was taken in by my library assistant when she was pregnant after she had been left at the vet’s his girlfriend works in. It was taking her in or her getting neutered whilst pregnant. Also at this time we thought Esme would be dead by Christmas, so it was an opportunity to not only replace ours, but also to help a friend out and unlike the other two, which were pre-Laura, this one would be ours.

He is named after Franklin the Racist Puppet from Arrested Development, the funniest TV show ever. The name originally wasn’t liked by Laura, but now it fits perfectly. When we first got him, he couldn’t bear to be alone, whining when we put him in ‘his’ room to such an extent that Laura considered giving him back. Now most nights he sleeps on the bed – under the covers on a cold night.

He is the most vibrant and playful of all the cats, still having a lot of his kitten tendencies. He loves to fight with Adebsisi, and occasionally with Esme – but only until he remembers why it’s not a good idea. He plays fetch with hair bobbles an old collars, and loves to be chased and play hide and seek. He will for the want of a better term go dicking round the house at top speed often crashing into things. He is also a very vocal cat, his best noise being a meow when purring or a meow when yawning. He has the best sleepy face as well.

He hasn’t got many bad points really – I wish he would stop fighting with Besi so much, but that’s me being protective of my boy. He also likes to drag the litter tray liner over from the corners after his ‘business’ into an almost pasty-esq shape. This doesn’t help Esme’s incontinence.

He’s a brilliant cat who is vibrant and full of life and is very good-tempered (when awake). Of all his original litter I think he’s probably the best overall, though he could lose a few bellies. He’s not Besi though. Not other cat could be.


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